Transgressive Paranoia: Thxgiving 2020
Brooklyn NY
(Names removed to protect the narrowly deviant innocents.)
D called C. Calling without first texting is transgressive and bold.
Our annual Slothsgiving needed a go or no-go call.
[Slothsgiving = friends and lovers and friends of friends who gather to eat what we want when want while wearing comfy clothes and watching serviceable and comfortable movies old and new until the collective stupor is so strong the evening and people attending drift away.]
D: Are we doing this?C: Yeaaaaaaah. Right? We should. It's fine. When is Thanksgiving again?D: NEXT WEEK!!!!
C: We'll keep it small.
D: Cap it at six!
From the CDC Thanksgiving 2020 guidelines:
increase the chances of getting or spreading COVID-19 or the flu.
Have conversations with guests ahead of time
to set expectations for celebrating together.
So it's a binary choice with options?
C: G wants to invite is German tutor.
D: That's fine. I trust you. We live our lives cautiously.
C: and his friend B.
D: You're good people you have good friends. I'm going to invite A.
C: Oh that's totally cool. I've seen his Facebook posts. He's exactly the right level of COVID safety vigilance plus outrage for me to feel comfortable with that.
D: What are even the right questions to ask? Before Truvada we asked each other "When did you last get tested?" and still wore condoms and that was safe. Asking someone when they last got COVID tested seems less relevant when we're dealing with something airborne. Wearing a mask isn't the same as a condom.
C: I'll get a COVID test before Thanksgiving. That covers G too cause we're the only people we see or spend time with.
Who was the last person I saw?
G's tutor dropped out. C says she felt duped because there would be 6, not 4 people. Without her, we were 5.
Thanksgiving Day warm weather made it just comfortable enough to open a few windows. I bought a second air purifier with a HEPA filter; also a box of disposable masks from Duane Reade ($30!) which sat mostly unused next to the Cacio e Pepe Cheese Puffs. Ceiling fans lightly moved the air. I live in a loft that was once a factory - large space, high ceilings.
My neighborhood, however, could give one pause. South of South Williamsburg Brooklyn abutting Bed Stuy.
November 8th the Satmar sect of Hasidic Judaism held a 7,000 person wedding nearby, shoulder-to-shoulder, maskless.
Elsewhere in Williamsburg/Bushwick ravers pray tell have been raving, although 200-500 people is not 7,000, and from the pics some of them are really making masking cute.
The Hassidim's COVID prevention abstinence has been strong and consistent since mid-March. Their anti-masking has been largely non-confrontational (and totally unchecked by NYC). Earlier that week I looked at the NYC cluster map and it was yellow near me. (I would have thought at least orange.) The red zone in Brooklyn is south and west. That is the Ocean Parkway Cluster.
C G with B arrived first.
We hugged the way we hug now before removing masks - brief, arms up to our shoulders akimbo with heads strenuously in opposite directions with a light back pat and done.
I waved at B.
D: (to B) I'm not going to mask indoors today. I'm not saying that as an anti-masker. I want you to know that you don't have to wear your mask to make me feel comfortable or safe.
B: Thank you for saying that. I'm going to wear mine for a bit.
It sounded to me like "I need a minute and probably a glass of wine."
G: It's fine. We're fine.
C: My mom is an epidemiologist and she says we're fine.
D: I called my mom this morning. She said to "be safe today." Be safe how? By doing what?
We scattered ourselves at a consistent distance from each other instead of glomming around the kitchen island.
Person-to-person spatial distancing feels instinctive now; how we adjust and shift when someone moves to maintain the gaps between us.
We chatted while laying out many platters and pans of foods.
A arrived. I gave him a quick pandemic hug after he washed his hands. He jazz handed waved at everyone else. It used to be that the /difference between saying hello to a friend, acquaintance, or new friend was the distance between kisses on the check and air kisses.
We ate a bit of this and that (what we want, when we want!) but even on Slothgiving the eating doesn't ever really get serious till the Turkey came out of the oven.
We scattered onto bean bags and an armchair and a sofa with the middle seat vacant.
We watched Dolly Parton's Christmas in Square which was nonsensical bonkers. Perfect. Next up was the Kristen Stewart starring lesbian Christmas rom com Happiest Season. Between the wine and the tryptophan and...the movies melted into one another. I can't recall how either movie ended and neither made sense.
I fell asleep on a bean bag. Woke up to G and C and B washing dishes and packing up and heading out. They masked up.
I slept more while A watched Bombshell.
I had already seen it.
Just last year.
In. a. movie. theater!
A left.
I masked up and walked my dog named H.
Anxiety never really left the room during our 2020 Slothsgiving. Our uneasiness did get fuzzy and took a few naps.
We weren't 20 people traveling and gathering. We also weren't alone. We weren't a dedicated bubble.
This is not a defense or rationalization. Or is it?
